Cereal Killer.

Welcome once again.

You may have read the title and thought "he's spelt it wrong, it's Serial, not cereal" and yes you would be correct if I were talking about someone who has commited many murders. But fortunatly, for the reason that I really do not want to write about serial killers because it would be far to depressing and actually a very hard blog to write well with some humour, I shall be writing about the much safer, and some would argue, much tastier, breakfast cereal.


So breakfast cereal, a real contender for the most popularly consumed food product in the morning. I always try to eat one bowl of the stuff in the morning before school, because it usually gives you enough energy to get to school and drift through your first lessons without falling asleep. But recently I seem to be noticing certain things happening in the brakfast world that many may not have.

For instance, do you remember the pokemon cereal that was out many moons ago? With the marshmallows shaped like pokemon? Where did they go?!?

If you can remember them then you truely must have loved them. they were the best cereal around. I would not eat anything else until I had had a bowl of them for breakfast. I think the main cause for this fixation of this brand of cereal was solely down to the amount of sugar that must have been packed into it. Not only did you have marshmallows in it, but the hoops themselves were frosted. If that wasn't enough to make you hyperactive i do not dare think of what would.



There has also been other sugar laced cereals in the past few years. Who can forget chocolate frosties? So again, not only where the frosted, but they also now came with a helping of chocolate coating as well. But gone are the days of children being allowed to eat whatever they like. Now the best you can do for sugar is frosted shreddies or golden nuggets. I really miss the variety you used to get, and the themed and promotional stuff such as the x-men cereal or formerly mentioned pokemon. Bring them back, please!


You may also have noticed that cereals are not allowed to promote their products with cereals any more. Where are the cars and the figurines and the cool plastic rings like on scrubs? the best that you get now is a short book or a really terrible maze or searchword on the back. Did I miss a change in the law saying that you were not allowed to promote your cereals with small tokens? And if so, why have companies like Macdonalds not have to comply with these rules. Surely a happy meal is going to do far more damage to the kid long term then a box of cereal ever will. Especially seeing as the happy meal toys were always rubbish.


Speaking of Macdonalds, do you not find some of the cereal mascots rather off putting or in some cases quite worrying? For instance, if you look at a nesquik box, it has Nesquik the rabbit on the front. Now, that seems fair enough, but then you look at the product itself. Rabbit? Little brown balls? Did the designer of the character not think that it may look a bit tasteless to use that type of animal for that product? To make it all worse, he is winking!



Another type of character for cereal who has always concerned me is the ones who try to steal it. In America, They have Trix, and the trix rabbit tries to take them from the kids. In the UK, we were blessed with Chip the wolf, who would try to steal cookie crisp from kids. What is this teaching people? That if you want a bowl of cereal, just go steal it from young people? Not only that, they are animals. Animals do not each cereal. They do not have hands to hold a spoon. Not only that, they always fail miserably. Get a job and earn your god damn cereal.


And that is all. Cheers for reading.


Andy*